


hues of you

by donsdoie



Series: you're gonna wanna be my best friend, baby [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Time Skips, i just really wanted one in doies pov, i swear this is the last one im done milking this for what its worth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 14:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20229700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsdoie/pseuds/donsdoie
Summary: Doyoung loved Jaehyun in a kaleidoscope of colors.





	hues of you

**Author's Note:**

> let me just get this universe off of my system with one last fic.
> 
> thank you [esh](https://mobile.twitter.com/hycksun) for beta-ing.

Jaehyun's hair was black when Doyoung first saw him.  
  
All natural, fluffy and irritatingly shiny.  
  
_It could pass off for a shampoo commercial's 'after'_ was Doyoung's initial thought upon seeing the younger boy attempt to ride a bicycle without training wheels, hair flouncing and bouncing with every move. He was lounging in his room, trying to get settled in after arriving in their new much bigger place half a day ago. Doyoung's mom landed a high-paying job nearby hence the whole Kim family household moving in the blink of an eye.  
  
Doyoung hated it. He wasn't the type to make friends immediately, taking him roughly four weeks to be on a first name basis with the ones he had to leave behind. But ever the obedient one, he merely shrugged when his mom asked him if he was okay with changing schools and houses consequently. To a completely different state.  
  
Back to the present, Doyoung didn't know what possessed his 7-year-old body to stand up from where he was comfortably situated by his bedside window that was overlooking the road in front of their new house, fly down the stairs, grab his outside slippers, walk towards the middle of the same road he was just looking at and catch the attention of the boy with the shiny, black hair.  
  
"Hey!" Doyoung found himself yelling, effectively stopping the other boy from having another go at the bicycle, "I know how to ride that without the wheelies at the back. Let me help you."  
  
The boy flushed peach at his words but still made his way to where Doyoung was standing with his hands on his hip like the old soul that he was, "You would do that?" the shorter one asked hesitantly and then adding in a mumble, "But you don't know me. We are not friends."  
  
It must have been the summer air, Doyoung convinced himself much later when he thought back on that afternoon's events, because shy and aloof Doyoung didn't go around saying, "my name is Kim Dongyoung, we are friends now. Come here and let me help you with that," to people he just met.  
  
He didn't regret it one bit, though. Not when the boy, whose name he found out to be Jung Jaehyun in the next couple of minutes, grinned at him like he was the last firetruck in the toy store when Doyoung managed to teach him how to ride the bike without training wheels two days after.  
  
For the rest of that summer, Doyoung had come to learn that Jaehyun's pretty black hair smelled like lemons. And it continued to smell like lemons every single summer after that.

—

A brunette Jaehyun, looking prim and proper in his new school uniform, was what greeted Doyoung on the younger's first day in high school.  
  
It took Doyoung a moment of scrutinizing before he could pinpoint what was different with Jaehyun that morning. He had always been a little bit dense when it came to these things - brain big enough for textbooks but apparently not for norms and social etiquette.  
  
He realized that he had been standing in front of Jaehyun's door for a couple of minutes without saying anything because the other cleared his throat self-consciously, "Does it look weird?"  
  
Doyoung knew his best friend was already terrified of the thought of the new school year so he tried to appease him with a nonchalant, "What is?"  
  
Jaehyun shoved him playfully before whining. What a child.  
  
"_Doie._" Somewhere along the lines of childhood and pre-puberty, the one-year age difference between them fizzled to nonexistent, nail in the head being Jaehyun dropping honorifics completely. It almost didn't bother Doyoung anymore. Almost. "My hair! This was a bad idea, I was just gonna get a haircut yesterday but the lady took one look at me and next thing I know, my hair is _not black_ anymore!"  
  
Doyoung really wanted to let the other go on about his demise some more but they were already running late so instead, he grabbed the rambling boy in a headlock and aggravated the obviously styled brown hair, all while laughing so hard his sides had started to hurt.  
  
"You are not gonna make me fall for it. I know you're just fishing for compliments."  
  
"Doie! Stop! I woke up 20 minutes earlier than I should have for this!"  
  
Letting the other go, Doyoung stepped back to grab his and Jaehyun's backpacks that they somehow dropped during the scuffle, "Come on, we're gonna miss the bus."  
  
The walk to the bus stop was a quiet one with Jaehyun pouting the whole time. Doyoung didn't want to give in but he's always had a soft spot for Jaehyun.  
  
"Jaehyunnie," he called for the other's attention. Was it just his imagination or did the other blush at the nickname?  
  
Shaking the thought off, he elbowed him, wanting - needing - Jaehyun's eyes on his as he said, "You look great. Handsome. You're going to have the whole school at the palm of your hands in no time. You are going to catch everyone's attention," he was teasing and he hoped his tone conveyed just that.  
  
They may bicker a lot but he didn't want to hurt the boy's feelings for real, intentionally or unintentionally.  
  
The bus arrived then and Doyoung was moving towards the entrance without waiting for a response which was more to save face because he was starting to feel the tips of his ears reddening.  
  
Missing the words Jaehyun had whispered into the early morning,  
  
"But I just want yours."  
  
Doyoung carried Jaehyun's backpack all the way to the other's assigned homeroom.

—

On Doyoung's high school graduation ceremony, Jaehyun was a bottle-bleached blond. It still smelled and looked fake despite having bleached it a couple of weeks prior, but the hug the boy initiated and the words he imparted definitely weren't.  
  
"Congratulations, Doie! I am so proud of you," he heard Jaehyun sing into his ear.  
  
Doyoung had always enjoyed being in Jaehyun's arms, where he felt the safest. What that entailed was something he didn't like to think about and dwell on. It would make the looming separation all the more difficult.  
  
"Thanks, blondie." But maybe ending the hug was harder.  
  
They stayed like that for a beat too long to be considered platonic.  
  
"Come on, gramps. Don't want your family saying I'm keeping you all to myself. I still aim to be your mom's favorite. Oh, by the way, I saw Taeil hyung earlier. He told me to pass onto you his best wishes, from one ancient being to another."  
  
Jaehyun had always made everything look and feel so easy. Falling in love included.

—

When Doyoung had to board a plane that will bring him, hopefully, a step closer to reaching his dreams, Jaehyun had dyed his hair back to black. Although it wasn't as shiny and bouncy as the day they met, it still hit Doyoung with a sense of nostalgia so strong, he almost turned around and beg the other to make him stay.  
  
He didn't.  
  
If Doyoung knew all it took was a halfhearted wave and a hesitant smile for the younger boy to let him go, he wouldn't have befriended Jaehyun all those summers ago.

—

They did not talk for a year.  
  
If one would think about it, the reasoning behind the disconnect was stupid, especially for someone who prided himself in his academic achievements. But Kim Dongyoung was merely human despite his galaxy brain and hard-work. It scared him, the fact that he considered and was still considering giving up all the late nights, extra studying hours, library visits and sleep he opted out of since elementary school for a boy whose smile made everything better. He was afraid of how willing he was to drop everything if it meant having Jaehyun by his side.  
  
Doyoung considered that a weakness. A weakness he could not afford.  
  
In return, he stopped seeing colors.  
  
He had no idea what the other boy's hair color was for the whole duration of that period, since the both of them stayed away from all forms of social media. He had no way of knowing anymore.  
  
(He did but he chose not to. He could have spent his first summer in college back in their hometown - in Jaehyun's company. Instead, Doyoung spent it taking an introduction to horticulture class. He was a music major.)  
  
_Your pride is going to be your downfall someday,_ he vaguely remembered his mother's voice warning him when he was eleven and stubbornly refused to apologize to Jaehyun after their first major fight. The details are hazy now but Doyoung was sure it had been his fault. It always seemed to be his fault.  
  
And his pride did end up costing him the most important friendship in his life and the possibility of something more, if Doyoung would only stop being a moron for more than a second, years later.  
  
That is if pride felt like crippling fear crawling in his skin at the mere thought of approaching Jaehyun but of also losing him for good.

—

Cotton candy pink was the ray of sunshine that peeked through the clouds that were his dreary, monotonous, and glaringly Jaehyun-less life.  
  
The university hype wasn't all that, Doyoung figured after two semesters of it. But he was Kim Doyoung, smart and sensible, so he trudged on anyway.  
  
"Oi, Doyoung!" the voice of his college best friend, Taeyong, reached him as he was on his way to lunch with his org mates on the first day of sophomore year. Looking around for the source, he found Taeyong huddled in a group of what could only be freshman students, the hopeful look in their eyes a dead giveaway.  
  
Doyoung shouted back immediately, "Taeyong! Corrupting the freshies so early in the semester, I see."  
  
He really should have seen it from a mile back. Life did enjoy throwing him colors of chaos when he least expected it.  
  
Who even looked this good with bright pink hair?  
  
"Jaehyunnie?" his voice sounded unstable. Unsure. Very unlike the Doyoung everyone knew.  
  
Cotton candy pink that broke his heart all-over again, rendering Doyoung helpless,  
  
"He's someone that I used to know back in my hometown."

—

"Hey Dons, wanna do something with your hair?" Ten asked him the same day Doyoung was reunited with a pair of eyes he knew inside out, every slight flicker of emotion identified.  
  
His roommate slash the most questionable association he had ever made, Ten always had something up his sleeve. A constant bubble of energy and reckless choices. Most days, Doyoung would have shot down the idea instantaneously. But today wasn't like most days.  
  
Doyoung had stuck to the same old boring haircut and hair color since, well, birth. But what happened earlier was like a slap to the face, a reminder that he wasn't the same person he used to be. Neither was Jaehyun. He felt that change in another aspect in his life was needed, at least, to overshadow the most prominent one.  
  
Surprising Ten, he answered calmly, "Yes. Go wild with it."   
  
A couple of hours later, his reflection - one with indigo hair - stared back at him.  
  
He wasn't sure what to feel.

—

It was a whirlwind of browns, oranges, and greens that Doyoung was thrown in since Jaehyun came back into his life, much like a movie playing in black and white then in splashes of color. Never the right time and the right moment to discuss the looming questions hanging between them.  
  
Doyoung might appear to constantly be sure of himself, with Jaehyun though, he was but a victim of self-doubts and _"he deserves better"_s. So he chose to settle with someone else.  
  
Kun was the gray space that was readily available amidst it all.  
  
_Do you wanna be my boyfriend?_ The other boy had texted him three days before he was supposed to fly out to begin his junior year. Doyoung who was watching Jaehyun play with the dogs they were walking in their hometown's park, contemplated. He saw his best friend smile, bright and sunny like he always did back when they were kids and again recently. A mere arm's reach from where Doyoung was standing.  
  
Then why did it feel like Jaehyun was light years away?  
  
_Sure,_ he had replied to Kun. No emojis, no smileys. Similar to what he had on his face when he sent the message.  
  
Doyoung fervently hoped this wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass someday.

—

It started to dim and dull, the colors, just like the life and hope in Jaehyun's eyes when Doyoung told him about Kun.  
  
To no one's surprise, Jaehyun pulled back from him too.

—

Midnight became the redemption he did not know he was in dire need of.  
  
Doyoung hated the mere thought of asking help from anyone for anything - not even for classes, school work, organizational duties, much less for something as mundane as _relationships._ He never asked for help, so why was Taeyong giving him unsolicited advice?  
  
"Dons, why do you do this to yourself?" The boy asked him out of nowhere while they were cleaning up the rest of Ten's things that they were going to ship off to the absent boy's hometown in Thailand.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about." If anything, Doyoung was sure he was the most stubborn of them all. It was something he was actually quite proud of.  
  
"I know about the phone calls. Why do you keep answering?"  
  
Why indeed.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Are you... still in love with him?"  
  
The question sent Doyoung's mind spinning. _Yes._  
  
"I don't know, Yongie."  
  
Taeyong stopped sealing the last box of Ten's belongings to sit down next to him, grabbing one of Doyoung's clammy hands, "Yes. Yes, you know. And I trust that you also know the right thing to do." The guy had always thought highly of him, put too much faith in him.  
  
When Taeyong left, Doyoung grabbed his phone from where it was placed on top of papers, books, notes, pens and pictures of his childhood - of happier times.  
  
_Do you wanna break up?_ Doyoung typed, took a deep breath, hesitated a little before hitting send.  
  
Not half a minute later, he got a reply from Kun. _Sure._  
  
And another one. _Be happy._

At half past three in the morning, when Jaehyun was drunk and high and was calling him yet again, talking about the pros and cons of majoring in biology, and then was asking him if he could come over, it did not take much convincing for Doyoung to agree.  
  
Now that he looked back on it, midnight might not have been the accurate color.  
  
But it was dark and late and he was crying and feeling overwhelmed and was so, so in love with Jaehyun who was holding his hands and looking at him like he was still the last firetruck in the toy store. Doyoung wanted to kiss the hell out of the boy with what looked like midnight blue hair, but they were both too hurt and too stupid for anything more than reconciliation and healing.  
  
Maybe he was still the logical one because that night, Doyoung managed to request for something he wasn't sure he even wanted and deserved, "Can you give me some time?"

—

Doyoung would always associate lilac with love and happiness.  
  
Because Jaehyun had lilac hair when Doyoung woke up one spring day with a jolting realization. It had been almost a month since the night of whispered confessions and apologies; a month of inner debates, listing the pros and cons of giving things with his childhood best friend a shot, extensive self-interviews of whether he was ready and if this was what he really wanted, and research that can rival a graduate student's paper of what a healthy relationship should look like and if that was something they could still have despite everything.  
  
The conclusion Doyoung came up with can be summarized in one short phrase: it's physically impossible not to be in Jaehyun's arms anymore.  
  
Why heal individually when you could heal, not each other, but together?  
  
So letting his mind and his heart meet in the middle, he ran the whole way to the other's dorm like the cliché that he was.  
  
As soon as the door opened, he was caught off guard by the face that peered behind it. However, Jaehyun's roommate Sicheng, remained unfazed at seeing him knocking at an ungodly hour (it was 7 in the morning on a Sunday). He merely took a glance at Doyoung and was immediately grabbing his phone, keys, and wallet. The sophomore gave him one last indiscernible look before leaving Doyoung to stand immobilized in the doorway with a hushed, "fucking finally. Good luck."  
  
Jaehyun appeared so calm and peaceful and upsetting-ly beautiful in his sleep that Doyoung almost didn't want to wake him up.  
  
But they had already wasted so much time - years - which was why Doyoung swatted the doubts away and poked the boy's dozing form awake.  
  
For the life of him, he could not remember what they ate for breakfast that morning. How could he when all he did was stare at Jaehyun all while suppressing the urge to poke the dimples that appeared whenever the other chewed, lilac hair all over his handsome face.  
  
The same lilac hair that danced in all directions when Doyoung ultimately caved in and thought to himself _fuck you universe, fuck you pride, fuck you crippling fear, I'm gonna make this boy the happiest because he makes me the happiest._  
  
Lilac hair that tickled his cheeks, ears, neck when they finally kissed.  
  
(Lilac underneath him when he was fucking, and lilac above him when he was getting fucked. Physical declarations of the love they shared.)

—

The next seven years consisted mostly of peaches and cherry reds.  
  
Peach like the shade of Jaehyun's cheeks, blushing or not.  
  
Doyoung reveled in the fact that after all that they had been through as best friends and partners (because they deemed the term 'boyfriends' too juvenile for what they had), he could still make Jaehyun blush with the little things. Whether it was due to drowsy early morning _I love yous,_ gentle massages after a long day at work, unapologetic moans from every sharp thrust, or petty fights that caused tears to surface - Jaehyun's cheeks down to his neck always turned a beautiful shade of peach.  
  
And cherry red like the color of their lips, post kisses or not.  
  
It reminded Doyoung of their favorite childhood summer koolaid drink, too sour for his taste personally but since Jaehyun loved it so much, he learned to tolerate. Now, he also associated the color with their shared cooking apron, the one with a _'nobunny compares to you'_ embroidered in front; their matching house slippers, a silky pair for him and a fuzzy pair for Jaehyun; the miniature telephone box they got as a souvenir the first time they went out of the country as a couple; the damn koolaid drink he was forced to buy every time they ran out because Jaehyun still loved it a little bit too much; and kisses, lots and lots of them.  
  
Life as Jaehyun's significant other was everything Doyoung had expected and wanted it to be. A couple of scattered lows that they emerged from even stronger and more in love, and an abundance of highs that affirmed his belief that this was the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

—

And because all things unavoidably came full circle with Jaehyun-  
  
"Jae?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Why did you stop dyeing your hair?" Doyoung had been playing with said hair for the past two hours as he channel-surfed for something to watch on the muted television. Jaehyun's head was conveniently resting on his lap whilst he read. They were finally spending a whole weekend together - no meetings, no babysitting Johnny and Taeyong's 2-year-old, no classes, absolutely nowhere to rush off to. Life sometimes got in the way of romance.  
  
"That's random."  
  
"I know, just popped in my head. You used to dye it all these crazy colors back in college. I was pretty sure you were sporting a bald spot for a while there."  
  
Jaehyun finally looked up from his book, his bangs framing his forehead, hair as black and shiny as the day they met, sporting an incredulous expression on his otherwise pretty face, "Then you clearly have forgotten about our friend Taeyong. Did you know Yukhei and Mark's batch used to call Taeyong Eminem behind his back? And not for his rapping."  
  
"That's beside the point."  
  
The younger boy sat up now, the ridiculously expensive bed they bought when they first moved in together creaked a little from the motion. Jaehyun looked him in the eye then gazed back down at his book, marking with a dog-ear the page where he stopped before closing it, "You're gonna think I'm childish. Or crazy. Or both."  
  
"I think we are way beyond that now," moving closer to cup the other's cheeks, Doyoung tried to shoot him a reassuring smile.  
  
It was during days like this, days when they had nothing to do but bask in each other's quiet presence and deafening love, that Doyoung felt the most satisfied.  
  
Jaehyun huffed defiantly but was opening his mouth to reply anyway, "It's just that..." a deep breath, "...my hair was black when I had you beside me the longest."  
  
Had Doyoung mentioned how unbelievably smitten he was by Jung Jaehyun?  
  
Trying to suppress the grin from breaking into his face, Doyoung maneuvered their bodies so they were both lying down on the bed, arms wrapped around each other; neither knowing where one's limbs started and where the other's ended. Time and the outside world ceased to exist, the moment consisted of only the two of them.  
  
"Jae?" Doyoung called out after what felt like forever.  
  
"What," came the sulky reply.  
  
He grabbed Jaehyun's left hand, turning it over to press the lightest of kisses on his wrist, right where the boy's pulse could be felt beating steadily, "My Jaehyunnie, I'm not going anywhere."  
  
Pulse thudding a mile a minute now.

Murmuring into his partner's skin, he added, "As long as you still want me around."  
  
"I will always want you around."  
  
"Okay. Always it is, then."  
  
Doyoung sealed the promise with one last kiss on Jaehyun's ring finger.

—

Further into the future, silver was exchanged between them, along with vows that they were sure to keep. Through the good and bad, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live.

**Author's Note:**

> stream [new love](https://youtu.be/Uzqn71lxDoo)!!
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/donsjae) / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/donsjae)
> 
> kudos and comments are vv much appreciated ♡


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